I Need Another Retreat...

...or maybe just to run away.

I spent Monday to Wednesday on a new pastors' retreat that is organized through the Synod of Lincoln Trails. While my participation in our local cluster group has been pretty good, I realized this week that I've only made two of the four retreats so far, which is a shame. I bailed on the first one because I had just come back from a youth retreat and was burned out. I can't remember why I missed the last one, though Adam and I made up for it by going out for steaks and cigars and telling each other what good pastors we are.

This was a great retreat and I'm really glad I went. The last retreat I went on, I really only knew the Chicago pastors and didn't get a chance to meet the other folks from around the Synod. It was a smaller group this time, so I was able to get to know a bunch of new people, which was the best part of the retreat for me. It was nice to talk about our common calling with such a diverse group of pastors, pastors from a variety of church and community settings and theological perspectives.

I came home from this retreat truly relaxed. I enjoyed the times of fellowship and sabbath and was really rejuvenated when I got home on Wednesday. This was the first time that I didn't feel overburdened by other things before and during the retreat, which was a good feeling.

Unfortunately, it didn't last.

I spent most of yesterday feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed with too much to do and not enough time to do it in. I began to feel that I had been wrong about my ability to take off those days for the retreat.

This must be what my youth feel like when they just can't make our youth retreats work for their schedules. I'm sure they want to go—or at least some of them do—but just can't manage to fit it in to their busy schedules.

What does it say about our lives that we can't find time for the things we enjoy and the things we need?

To make matter worse yesterday, I spent about four hours finishing up our taxes with a tax preparer. I know, taxes were due ten days ago, but we had to file an extension so we could gather all the information we needed.

I had a rude awakening when we finished it all up and it showed that we owed a lot of money. I'm talking about the thousands of dollars range. I couldn't believe it. It turns out that I totally misunderstood my tax situation as a clergy person. I didn't have a good grasp of what my housing allowance is really about, nor the "self employment" tax I have to pay. At least I know now, though that is a rather small consolation at this point.

The good news from yesterday is that I began to read Post-Rapture Radio by Russell Rathbun. I met Russell at the up/rooted.city cohort gathering last week (wow, was that just last week?). Holy crap, this book is good. And seriously funny. Laugh out loud funny. More on this later...